Which Wolf are you feeding ?

A Native American grandfather and his grandchild were talking about their feelings following the 9/11 attack .I feel I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, angry and violent. The other is loving and compassionate. The grand child was confused and asked, Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight? The grandfather thought for awhile then replied,The one that I feed.

It's not always the easy to feed your compassionate wolf in every situation but it is important that we learn to. Negative actions and thoughts can drain a person unconsciously. During a presentation on cognitive thinking I saw a demonstration how saying positive verses negative things can affect your physical performance. When you think you can't do something your brain transmits it to your muscles and immediately your body doesn't perform at it's peak.
This can also happen in education if you go into a test telling yourself you'll fail or  the because the body cannot tell the difference between perceived thoughts and actual events. So in other words if you think you fail you will fail and if you think you'll succeed you will. In every part of your life you are expected to do the best you can, and staying positive is the best way you can do that. 
Of course staying positive won't completely change your life but it can improve your attitude when life takes those unexpected turns.

Here are some positive things I learned in the presentation that you can do to keep your day going in a more positive direction:
1.Begin by taking a few relaxing breaths.
2. Identify the negative cognition—the negative affirmation.
3. Identify the underlying negative beliefs and assumptions and make statements from them.
4. Create positive statements (always presented in the present tense) to counter the negative statements.
5.Repeat the new, positive affirmations as often as needed and at least several times a day. 
6.Create cues (reminders) in your daily routine that encourage your new, positive beliefs and assumptions.
7.Utilize thought stopping techniques to immediately eliminate negative thoughts that try to sneak through. This might require some persistence on your part, especially if you‘re dealing with a long-standing negative cognition.
8.Praise yourself for each little advancement you make toward loving and accepting yourself more fully.

So next time you're in a hard situation take a minute breath in......breathe out...and think about which wolf you're feeding

Distant Strangers

What does Tupac a famous rapper and Trevor gay 13 year old have in common ? 

Sadly enough they have both contemplated suicide and only one made it out alive 

So imagine the ridicule and helplessness these young African American men must of felt to want to end their lives at such young ages. They both felt the pressures of being different in a divided world...but Tupac had his music as an outlet and Trevor didn't, so Trevor's contemplation, eventually led to action and led to his tragic suicide at age 13 years old. Here is a video of Trevor's best friend speaking about his suicide.

He was literally bullied to death because he was gay. All odds were against him he was Gay, Black and Male.  Sexuality is another gap we create among people that makes everyone "distant strangers".

"I see no changes. Wake up in the morning and I ask myself, is life worth living? Should I blast myself? I'm tired of being poor and even worse I'm black."

If a well known,well loved successful man wakes up and immediately thinks about killing himself what does a normal Black man wake up thinking? I think Tupac publicized his suicidal thoughts because he was trying to alarm his fans and let them know how bad he was hurting. To let them know that no matter how famous you are you can't escape racism and the low expectations that society has of you when your different in any way. Racist people can make you feel dehumanized and lower than everyone else because of your skin color and Homophobic comments can take away a man's masculinity. Losing those things could have pushed pushed Trevor over the edge and Tupac to the edge.

Although these two events are not directly related they are both connected to how the low expectations of Black men and Gay men in particular can have devastating consequences no matter who are are or where you are in life. No one deserves to feel dehumanized because they don't fit society's rules. We are all God's people and we should see each other that way not as Distant Strangers.

Learn how to prevent suicide and get involved with making a change and crisis intervention visit http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Good Hair Does Not Exis...OPinions Do !

Its amazing that people will always find something there unhappy with...Even in the most incredibly positive situations. Above is a picture of Gabby Douglas, a 16 year old Olympian that took home gold at the 2012 Olympics. Instead of focusing on her talents the media chose to focus on her appearance (Like it made her any less of an Olympian), the level of ignorance and obsession that people have with the surface of things is beyond me.

 In the picture below someone has managed to ridicule everything about Gabby in this picture. If this was a white or light girl I don't think there would even be a discussion about her hair style.

 I can't help but connect the acceptance of lighter skin and straighter hair to slave times when whites would allow the light skinned blacks to work in the house while the darker skinned ones were only used for field work. Basically whoever appeared more white was treated more like a human being and whoever didn't was worked,traded and treated like an animal. It was a creative tactic that pinned blacks on blacks and created a tension within the Black community that unfortunately still exists today.
           Why are we mocking white slave owners ?

Instead of focusing on how the Black Americans look, let's focus on what they accomplish. 
Because at the end of the day WHY DOES IT MATTER ?